One of the biggest drawbacks of social media is how easy it makes it for us to judge others. Someone’s whole life (or the highlights they choose to share) is right there in front of us to interpret. When we engage in a comparison war we are robbing ourselves of grace. Especially when we have no idea what that person’s actual life is like. What is it about that person that bothers you so much? OR What is it about that person that you wish you had and makes you feel low?
Believe it or not, there are ways to use judgment for the greater good. Because this is something that everyone is guilty of (including me).
There is a reason you are jealous of this person. Instead of ignoring it, figure out why, and how you can achieve it in your own life. Are you uber jealous of Eliza because she posts bikini pics and is not scared at all? Or are you jealous of the mom who is always doing it all and you swear she isn’t devoting enough time to her kids? Does what’s her name bother you because she has an amazing job, house, AND hair? It’s not fair (!!!)
What we value in others we can foster in ourselves. Sometimes we think we can’t accomplish what others do and instead of working on that goal, we make ourselves feel better by discrediting others. *record scratch & rewind* Yup, I said it. We knock others down to lift ourselves up in our minds. Let’s be real, Cady Heron said it best, “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” Yes, I just quoted Mean Girls in 2020 sue me. Whether it’s rocking biker shorts or getting that degree you CAN do it. You are capable and strong. Even when you don’t believe it.
On the reverse, when someone is mean to you they are showing you their ignored issues, not your shortcomings. Sometimes when we think or say mean things to others it’s our insecurities talking. This year has impacted everyone. Even the girls who have perfect lives on the gram. Hey, I’m guilty of acting like everything is normal on social media even though I have struggled with feeling more anxious and emotional than ever. A pandemic will do ya dirty like that (!!!) Learn to cut yourself and others some slack *except for your non-negotiables like lying, stealing, you name it.
And if you are really struggling to kick this nasty habit ask yourself “what is my judgment solving?” and you will ultimately end up thinking “there are better things I can be doing with my time.”
A few ideas to counter this nasty habit:
- Compliment a stranger
Since we’re all seeing fewer people than ever this might just be a nice comment on someone’s picture they post. Compliments just make us feel good and everyone needs more of that right now. Like, I swear feel my prettiest when a drunk girl compliments me in the bathroom of a bar. Random drunk girls are really the sweetest, I can’t wait for social drinking to be legal again ha.
- Make a new friend
The more wide-ranging my friendships are the more I am open to different opinions. I am so proud to have friends that are everything from single to married, moms, long-distance from me, and everything in-between because it opens my eyes to how different all of our lives are. Further proof to not judge others if you have no idea what a day in their shoes is like.
- Challenge your thinking
We all have battles we’re facing. Find what makes you happy and do that thing. Next time you find yourself harshly judging someone else pause and think about what you can choose to do next. I hope you choose to practice empathy and living your best life GIRLFRIEND!
Cheers to forming new habits!
Thanks for reading,
*header image courtesy of stocksnap